is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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