just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
