I need to stop coming to work sober
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
