I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
