Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
