I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
