hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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