OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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