i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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