I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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