I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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