So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
