She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
