walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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