i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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