dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
