i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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