this just has baby written all over it
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
