I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
