I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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