1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
