it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize