I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize
