Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
