The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize