shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
