He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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