So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
