I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize