Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
