I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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