i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
