end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
