I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
