Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Green mimosas i think yes
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
