your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
