How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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