I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
