Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
