I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
