the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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