My brain says no but my pants say off.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize