Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
