Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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