I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
