that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize