The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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