he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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