Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
