dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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