brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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