I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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