YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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