He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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