question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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