Define "chronic" masturbator.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
