Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
