Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize