that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
