I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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