I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
